The Junkie Saint

On this day, seventeen years ago, Pope St John Paul II canonized one of the most unusual saints in Church history.

Saint Mark Ji Tianxiang was a doctor who lived in China during the late 1800’s. Compelled by his faith, he served the poor people of his community free of charge.

However, when he came down with a stomach ailment, he was given opium to soothe the symptoms. Within time, he became addicted to the powerful narcotic. And, for the rest of his life, he would struggle with this addiction.

At the time, not much was known about addiction. It was assumed that those who fell into its grips had weak wills or were simply unwilling to change. Because Saint Mark went to confession every time he got a “fix”, the priest came to believe that he was not sufficiently sorry for his sin and did not have a sincere enough desire to amend his life. Eventually his pastor told him to stop going to confession or to communion until he had finally kicked his habit for good.

A lesser person may have been offended by the priest’s words and given up practicing the faith all together. However, Saint Mark continued to go to Mass regularly even though he couldn’t receive communion. Though he never was freed from his addiction, despite his fervent prayers, he trusted in God’s mercy. Even though the people in his community looked down on him and though he no doubt carried a heavy burden of shame, he continued to believe in God’s love for him.

For thirty years Saint Mark continued to practice his faith without ever receiving the sacraments. Because he could not free himself from his addiction, he believed that his only hope of attaining heaven would be to die as a martyr. So, he began praying that, if God did not see fit to heal him of his addiction, that he would grant him the grace to give his life in witness to the faith.

During the 1890’s, a group of nationalists called “the Fists of Righteous Harmony” or “the Boxers” began a rebellion to drive foreigners out of China. The violent uprising also became a persecution against Christianity which was judged to be a foreign religion. In time, Saint Mark and his family were rounded up and told that they would be beheaded if they did not renounce their faith. Of course, after thirty years of being treated as an outcast, Saint Mark could have easily renounced Christianity. However, he stood firm to the end. His only request to the executioner was that he be killed last so that none of his family would have to die alone.

And so, on June 8, 1900, Saint Mark, an opium addict, joined the rank of martyrs.

The story of Saint Mark Ji Tianxiang teaches us that no one is beyond hope. No matter what cross we may bear in life - even drug addiction - God can make a saint of us. Though he was outcast by his Church and insulted by his fellow Christians, he did not make it an excuse to stop practicing his faith. Though he could never attain sobriety, he did not make it an excuse to stop seeking God and hoping in his mercy. He refused to give up and God rewarded him with sainthood. He was the good son who seemed to be saying “no” to God’s will but, in the end, said “yes” when it mattered most.

All of us have a personal, private struggle. For many of us, that struggle is hidden from others. We are wrestling with God, wanting to do His will but also feeling pulled by other desires. We carry a burden of shame and confusion that often makes us want to run and hide. Though we earnestly want to live our faith, we find ourselves falling so often that we want to give up. We try to put on a happy face so that everyone will think we are fine, but inside we are suffering.

Even though others may not be aware of our struggles, God is aware. He sees right into our soul. He knows us better than anyone ever can and He still loves us. God knows my pain and He knows your pain. It will not surprise or shock our Heavenly Father if we bring our struggles to Him in prayer. In fact, He is longing for us to entrust all our cares to Him so that we can learn to rely on His mercy.

Many times, we avoid going to confession because we think we are confessing the same old sins over and over again. We wonder what good it will do us to confess our sins when we know we will commit them again.

Though it is understandable why we might feel this way, we cannot allow such thinking to keep us from experiencing God’s love and mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is not a bad thing that we keep confessing the same sins over and over again. It means that we have not discovered new ways to sin! And, as long as we are truly sorry and desire to some degree to stop sinning, we have sufficient contrition to be forgiven. Finally, confessing our sins relieves us of the burden of guilt and shame and gives our hearts peace. With time, we will find ourselves becoming free of our destructive habits and making progress in our relationship with Jesus.

No matter how many times we have said “no” to God in the past and no matter how many times we may say “no” to Him in the future, one “yes” can wipe our slate clean and put us back on the path of righteousness. Everyone of us falls from time to time. We become saints not by never falling but by relying on God’s grace to pick us up each time and carry us forward.