Hard To Say "I'm Sorry"

There are few words that are harder to say than “I am sorry.”

When we say, “I am sorry”, we are admitting that we are wrong. We are acknowledging that we have acted inappropriately and hurt others. By saying those words,  we show a side of ourselves that we do not want others to see - a side of ourselves that is weak and fallible. Also, when we admit that we have done wrong, we open ourselves up to judgment and criticism. The person we apologize to can take the opportunity to put us down or start an argument with us over our hurtful actions. It can take a great deal of courage and humility to say the simple sentence, “I am sorry.”

It is harder still to say the words, “Please forgive me” I can tell anyone that I am sorry. I can say it to a stranger whose foot  I accidentally step on in the subway or to a waiter I bump into in a restaurant. However, I can only say, “Please forgive me” to someone I am close to. When I say those more intimate words, I not only admit that I have done wrong but that I have wounded a relationship that is dear to me. Not only do I risk being criticized or judged, I also risk being rejected. I risk having my loved one tell me that he or she does not accept my apology and no longer wants to be my friend. When I say, “Please forgive me”, I risk being told not only that my actions are bad but that I am bad. It not only takes courage and humility to ask, “Will you forgive me?” but also confidence in the other person’s love for me.

During these Sundays of Easter, we have been reading the accounts of Jesus’ appearances to His disciples after His resurrection. In every account, they fail to recognize Him at first. Saint Luke tells us in today’s gospel that they thought they were seeing a ghost. However, what finally convinces them that it is truly Jesus is the nail marks in his hands and feet. In fact, all four gospels report that He retained the wounds of His crucifixion including the one to His side where His heart was pierced. He kept those wounds as a sign of His love for us. They were a badge of honor which He wore proudly to remind us that He died out of love for us. Because of that sign of His love - because He reveals to His disciples that He is truly alive - they can move from fear that they are seeing a ghost to utter joy and amazement that Jesus is still with them.

Jesus died because of His love for sinners. He rose again to offer us forgiveness and new life. We never have to be afraid to say, “I am sorry”, or better still, “Please forgive me” to Jesus. He knows our hearts. There is no side of ourselves that we can hide from Him. He sees our wounds. He sees the scars left behind by our bad choices and by the hurts we have endured. Nonetheless, He loves us anyway. He wants us to know that He is willing to forgive us. Just as He moved the disciples from fear to joy, He can lead us from shame to peace. He can take away our burden and give us freedom. Not only can He forgive us, but He can give us the power to make good choices going forward. That is the power that flows from His glorified wounds.

From those wounds flows the sacrament of Baptism. Most of us first came to Jesus when we were most vulnerable and needy, as babies. By the waters of baptism, we were washed clean and strengthened by the gift of faith and the Holy Spirit. Baptism is the first act of forgiveness that God offers us.

However, even with the gifts of faith and the Holy Spirit, we continue to fall into sin. When that happens, and it does frequently, we have another beautiful sacrament to heal us - The Sacrament of Reconciliation or “Confession”. This sacrament is often called the “Second Baptism”. Whenever we celebrate this sacrament with true sorrow for our sins and a firm purpose to change our lives, our souls are returned to the purity they enjoyed on the day of our baptism. When we hear the words, “Go in peace; your sins have been forgiven,” we can be assured that it is Jesus Himself speaking those words to us. We can embrace the peace the Risen Lord offers us in this beautiful sacrament.

Because of the difficulty we have as human beings in saying “I am sorry” and “Please forgive me”, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the most difficult of the sacraments for us to celebrate. It is not easy for us to get on our knees and admit that we are wrong. It is natural for us to fear that we will be criticized or judged for the bad choices we have made and the sinful attitudes that we have embraced. We are taking a risk that we will be rejected. However, we can approach this beautiful sacrament with confidence. The priest who hears our confession is taking the place of Jesus Himself. The forgiveness He offers also comes from Jesus Himself. We know this because our Risen Lord told His apostles, “Whatever sins you forgive will be forgiven and whatever sins you retain will be retained.”

Also, the priest hearing our confession is a sinner himself. Like us, he frequently has to get on his knees, confess his sins and ask for forgiveness. He understands how much courage and humility it takes and so will be gentle with us. He can also offer us encouragement and advice. Just being able to share with another person a side of ourselves that we often hide from others can relieve our shame and give us peace. Furthermore, the grace of forgiveness that comes from this sacrament restores our friendship with Jesus and empowers us to keep His commandments and know fully the joy He died and rose again to give us.

In today’s second reading Saint John assures us:”... if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous one. He is expiation for our sins.” ,If you have found it difficult to tell Jesus that you are sorry and ask for His forgiveness, pray for the humility and courage to go to confession. Jesus is waiting for you. He longs to show you His wounds and embrace you with His loving forgiveness. He wants to relieve your burden of shame and set you back on the path of healing and joy. It is as simple as saying, “I am sorry” and “Please forgive me” to the One who loved us enough to die for us.