Before there were countries, before there
were churches, before there were colleges or universities, there were families.
Before there were languages or cultures, human beings bound themselves in
relationships based on kinship and blood. From the beginning, the family has
been the place where the young are born and raised, where individuals share
responsibilities and resources and where the sick and elderly are taken care
of.
And at the root of families is the sacred
institution of marriage. Men and women, out of love for one another, unite in
an unbreakable bond from which children are born and raised. The yearning that
a man has for a woman and a woman for a man comes from our human nature. God
placed it in us from the very beginning. We were not created to be alone. We
were created for companionship, intimacy and partnership. The fullest and most
beautiful expression of that desire is the institution of marriage.
From marriage and the family arose other
structures of communal life - tribes, nations and churches. These other
institutions came about not to replace the family but to strengthen it - to
protect it in time of war, to provide education and to ensure sufficient jobs.
Throughout the history of civilization it has been clear that the stronger the
family was, the stronger the society would be.
No government and no church created the
institutions of marriage and family. They have been with us from the beginning.
Just so, no government or church can change the definition of marriage. Under
normal circumstances, no government or church can claim to have more of a say
in how a child is raised than parents and family members do. And because
governments and churches are made up of families, undermining marriage and
families damages society as a whole. It would be like sawing off the branch
that you are sitting on.
Jesus makes it very clear to us just how
important marriage is. His first miracle took place at a wedding feast. He
often described Himself as a “bridegroom” who was sent to consummate the union
of God with His people. When Jesus speaks of marriage, it is always in
reference to how we as human beings were created. When He instructs the
Pharisees in today’s gospel, He makes it clear that, “From the beginning of
creation, God made them male and female.” And He teaches them that marriage did
not come from Moses but from God Himself.
The result is that no one has the right to end a lawful marriage - not
even the couple themselves. As He tells us, “Therefore what God has joined
together, no human being must separate.”
From the beginning, then, marriage was
meant to be a permanent union of a man and a woman. The permanence of marriage
is a sign of God’s faithful love for His people. Just as a man and a woman love
each other for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so God perseveres
in His love for us no matter what.
God put this desire to live a faithful,
life-long love in each of our hearts. We know the truth of Jesus’ teaching
instinctively because it is written into our very nature. Whenever we see
couples who are celebrating forty, fifty or even sixty years of marriage, we
cannot help but rejoice with them. We see that faithfulness in marriage is a
beautiful thing and we naturally desire it for ourselves.
The permanence of marriage is not only a
good for the couple themselves, it is good because it is necessary for the
raising of healthy, happy children. It is clear from our personal experience
and from scientific research, that children thrive when they are raised by
their biological fathers and mothers. Each child has a right to be conceived in
love and raised by his or her biological parents. To intentionally take a child
away from his or her parents is a grave injustice. Sadly, this happens
frequently in our culture through reproductive technologies such as surrogate
motherhood, in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination.
Children are a precious gift of God. They
give us much joy and hope for the future. All married couples should embrace
children and be generous in giving them life. There are many reasons couples
may choose to limit the number of children they have. However, before making a
decision to stop having children, a couple should go to God in prayer and ask
if there are any other young lives that our Heavenly Father would like them to
bring into the world. Through prayer, we may find that our reasons for not
having children are not as serious as we think. We may discover that whatever
we think we may be able to afford or achieve by not having children pales in comparison
to the joy and happiness a baby would bring into our lives.
As followers of Christ and as good
citizens, we are called to promote and defend marriage as the most basic
institution of our Church and our society. By our own honest efforts to live as
good and holy husbands and wives and to raise our children in the values of our
faith, we do much to build up a more just and peaceful world. By welcoming
children, we witness to the value of each human life no matter how weak, how
vulnerable or how unproductive it may be. More than ever in human history, our
world needs such a witness.
It is true that many times we fail. Not
every marriage lives up to what God calls it to be. Many fathers and mothers
fail to be good examples to their children. As a Church, we have to not only
support traditional marriages, but we have to reach out to help those whose
marriages are struggling or have failed. We have to stand beside single parents
and those who are suffering because of circumstances beyond their control or
choices they made in the past. No matter where we may find ourselves, we can
all find a place in the family of the Church. In it we have a faithful father
who is God, a loving brother who is Jesus and many children all longing for the
ultimate wedding feast - the Kingdom of Heaven.
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