A Family At Prayer

 “The family that prays together, stays together.”

This well-known saying was coined by Fr. Patrick Peyton. He grew up in a very devout Catholic home in Ireland. During his youth, he prayed the rosary every evening with his parents. It was clear to him that the love in his home was a direct result of the time they spent as a family every evening in prayer.

When Fr. Peyton was studying for the priesthood in the United States, he contracted tuberculosis. In hopes of recovering so that he could continue with his studies for the priesthood, Fr. Peyton began praying a novena to Our Lady. In the course of that prayer, his tuberculosis was miraculously cured. From that point, he decided that he would dedicate his priesthood to spreading devotion to Our Lady. In particular, he would promote the prayer of the rosary within families so that they could experience the same warmth and togetherness in their homes as he did throughout his childhood.

Father Peyton’s insight that prayer keeps families united in love is also supported by science.

We are probably all familiar with the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. However, only 1 in 50  couples that are married in church and who attend Mass every Sunday end up divorcing. When a couple introduces prayer to their home by praying the rosary or other regular devotion, that number drops to 1 in 1,150. Imagine that. Simply by praying as a couple and with your children, you can significantly increase your chances of having a loving, emotionally fulfilling and successful marriage. The family that prays together does indeed stay together.

Today, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. They were certainly a family that prayed together. In today’s gospel, we learn that they traveled to Jerusalem every year for the Passover. Jesus felt so at home in the Temple that He called it “my Father’s house.” It is clear that Mary and Joseph passed their faith on to Jesus because His knowledge even impressed the teachers of the Law. And it was in their humble, faith-filled home in Nazareth that Jesus “advanced in wisdom, age and favor before God and man.” The Holy Family was a family that prayed together.

If our families are going to be strong households united in love then prayer must be an integral part of our homes. Husbands and wives, are you praying regularly for one another and your children? Young people, do you join in willingly and are you attentive when your parents say grace before meals or sit by your bedside to pray with you before you go to sleep? If grace and bedtime prayers are not yet a part of your daily routine, today’s feast in honor of the Holy Family is a great day to change that. When you bring God into your everyday lives as a couple and as a family, you can expect to see many blessings as a result. It is so simple. Why put it off any longer?

Along with praying together every day, coming to Mass together as a family every Sunday is critical. Gathering together with people who share the same faith as we do, hearing God’s word and being nourished by the Bread of Life makes us grow as individuals and as a community. God’s wisdom sinks into us, penetrating our hearts and enlightening our minds. We begin to see things as God sees them. Our worries and concerns become less intense because we begin to trust that our Heavenly Father has everything under control. In turn, that trusting attitude makes our homes less tense and more playful. Coming to Mass every Sunday chips away at our pride and self-centeredness making parents more attentive and children less rebellious.

Along with praying together, families should also be learning about their faith together. Our religious education should not end when we are children or at our confirmation. Rather, we should consider ourselves life-time students of our faith. None of us ever get to a point at which we have learned everything there is to know about Jesus, the Church or the Bible.

A good practice would be to spend some time on Sundays talking about the readings at Mass. Along with talking about how the readings spoke to us, we could also talk about what we might not have understood. Perhaps, we could even make a list of our questions and work together to find the answers on reliable Catholic websites or by speaking to someone who is more knowledgeable. Working together to grow in our knowledge of the faith as a family will help children learn that the faith is something we should be devoting our whole lives to learning more about.

Of course, no family is perfect. It happens that even families who go to Mass every Sunday and pray at home run into trouble. Prayer is not a guarantee that bad things won’t happen to us or that tragedy will never strike. However, prayer helps families weather the storms of life. It gives us courage to rise above the challenges we face and the perseverance to work together to solve them rather than allow them to tear us apart.

Prayer also helps families to find healing. Many single parents find their daily time of prayer with their children is a way for them to connect and find peace in the midst of a hectic life. Divorced parents find in prayer healing for their hearts and the confidence to believe that they are loveable and that their life is worthwhile no matter their marital status. Prayer helps those who have lost a husband or wife to continue to feel connected to them. It also helps parents who have lost children to find the strength to bear their unimaginable grief. Prayer might not always change the circumstances we face but it does change us so that those difficulties do not break us but help us to grow in wisdom and grace.

Father Peyton once said, “Countless families the world over invite Mary to their homes through the family rosary. She comes. They sense her presence. They solve their problems because where Mary is present there is Christ, her Divine Son.” Our homes are meant to be places of peace where we can retreat from the noisy, hectic world and connect with those who love and accept us unconditionally - our family. When we welcome Jesus into our homes through daily prayer, our families become that much more loving and joyful. When Jesus has a place in our home, we too become a holy family.