I AM _______LOVED!

Chris Stefanick is a Catholic writer and founder of Real Life Catholic, a ministry of outreach to young people.

His latest book is entitled, I Am __________. REWRITE Your Name. REROUTE Your Life.

In this book, he addresses all the negative self-talk going on in our heads. Often without even knowing it, we are saying to ourselves, “I am a failure” or “I am unattractive.” We give ourselves names that reflect our negative image of ourselves. This negative self-image often arises because we are trying to live up to the world’s standard of success. For instance, the world holds up women who are thin as models of physical beauty. When we fall short of that ideal, we might tell ourselves we are undesirable or unlovable.

Chris Stefanick is challenging us to stop looking to the world for our standards of happiness but instead to look to God. The Bible tells us that we are all made in God’s image and likeness. Therefore, we can say to ourselves, “I am beautiful.” Also, our faith tells us that God loves us unconditionally. Therefore, we can say to ourselves, “I am loveable”. When we embrace our identity as sons and daughters of God, our perception of ourselves changes. We replace the negative self-talk with positive words such as, “I am blessed”, “I am forgiven”, “I am loved.” And once we begin to think more positively about ourselves, we often begin to make better choices based on our sense of self-worth.

In today’s first reading, the prophet Isaiah speaks to the people of Israel at a time when they are devastated and demoralized. The city of Jerusalem had been destroyed and the people of Israel were taken captive and led off into exile. There was a real sense that God had abandoned them and forgotten His covenant.

However, through Isaiah, God tells the people that they can hold their heads up. Despite the suffering they are enduring, He is still in their midst. He is still their God and He has never stopped loving them. Therefore, they can stop saying to themselves, “I am forsaken” or “I am desolate.” Rather, they can call themselves a new name that comes from the mouth of God Himself. God says to them, “You are my delight” and “Your land is espoused.” He is challenging the people to stop measuring themselves by what the world says about them and to start understanding their dignity based on what GOD says about them.

We all engage in negative self-talk from time to time. Perhaps we reason that, by thinking negatively about ourselves, it will keep us humble. Or we might believe that harboring negative thoughts will shame us into trying to be better people. But that is rarely the case. Instead,  saying  to ourselves, “I am useless” or “I am no good”, only steals our energy and saps our motivation. Often, it becomes an excuse to indulge in self-destructive behavior.

That negative self-talk does not please God. If He says, “I love you” but we say to ourselves, “I am unlovable”, then we are calling God a liar. If Jesus says, “I died for you” but we say to ourselves, “No one cares about me”, what does that say about our appreciation for what our Lord has done for us?

How can we begin to break the cycle of negative self-talk and begin to embrace our true identity as beloved sons and daughters of God?

The first way is through prayer. Taking a few minutes every day to reflect on God’s love for us transforms our image of ourselves. Through prayer, God’s love for us soaks into our bones and reaches the depth of our soul. Even when we bring God our failures and sins, we do so in the context of His love for us. He is a loving Father who cares for us and wants to see us flourish and thrive. The more we stay in contact with that reality through prayer, the more we will see ourselves as God sees us - as blessed and loveable.

The second thing we should do is ask the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts. When we fall into the trap of calling ourselves names, we should ask the Holy Spirit to lead us out. All we need to do is  say, “I don’t believe the lies I am telling myself.” Then we can pray an Our Father to remind us of God’s love. In so doing, we begin to build a habit of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

Through the prophet Isaiah, God tells the people of Israel: “As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you.” These words find their fulfillment in today’s gospel. Jesus performs His first miracle at a wedding feast to reveal Himself as the Bridegroom, the one sent by God to consummate this marriage with His People. He did so by turning the water which had been used to ceremonially cleanse people of their filth into wine used to celebrate love. Just so, Jesus comes to call those who are sinful, unworthy and unlovable to embrace their new identity as forgiven, worthy and loved.

At this Mass, we gather to witness another transformation  - the transformation of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. By receiving this gift of God’s love we are also transformed.  We call ourselves by our new name,  saying with confidence  that we are blessed to be invited to the supper of the Lamb. We call ourselves “blessed” because we are loved unconditionally by a God who is faithful. We call ourselves “blessed” because we are forgiven by the blood of Jesus who loved us enough to die for us. We call ourselves “blessed” because we are gifted with the Spirit who uses us to bring so much good into this hurting world.