Many horrible and heart-wrenching stories have come out of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Death, destruction and suffering take place there on a daily basis and on a level that most of us cannot even begin to imagine.
At the same time, when faced with horrible circumstances, we often discover examples of bravery and heartfelt charity. Even in the midst of chaos and savagery, we are reminded of the goodness of human nature and the power of God’s grace.
Just such a story of magnanimity in the face of tragedy is told in the book, The Irresistible Revolution, by Shane Clairborn.
During the height of sectarian violence in Iraq between Sunni and Shiite Muslims, a woman’s husband and only son were shot to death by a young man. It was her worst nightmare come true. Now alone with no means of support and no one to protect her, she was devastated. No one would have blamed her for feeling outraged and bitter. No one would have blamed her for demanding vengeance. However, at the trial during the sentencing of the man who had taken her family away from her, she stunned the judge and the courtroom by requesting that the young man not be sent to jail. Instead she requested that she be allowed to adopt him. Thinking that in her grief she might have lost her mind, the judge asked her to repeat her request. She explained that she was now alone but that she still had much love to give. The young man who killed her family obviously had not been loved enough. She wanted to bring him into her home to teach him how to love rather than hate.
Through the grace of God, this woman faced with the most difficult of circumstances found a way to choose forgiveness over vengeance and love over hate. She found a way to look at that young man not as a murderer deserving condemnation but as a lost soul needing mercy and forgiveness. She is an example to all of us that we do not need to be imprisoned in bitterness. Neither do we need to be locked in a vicious cycle of vengeance. We can be free from the pain of our past. With the help of God, we can forgive others from the heart.
Each of us here today can recall at least one person who has hurt us, someone we find very difficult to forgive. That person may have hurt our feelings, betrayed our trust or humiliated us. He or she may have abused us and caused us serious psychological or physical harm. We might live everyday with the scars of their hurtful actions. People can be cruel and heartless. But has any of us had our husband or child murdered as that Iraqi woman did? Has any of us suffered as much loss as she has? If she can forgive and even open her home to the young man who murdered her family, what excuse do we have to not forgive those who have hurt us? Even if we have suffered as much or more than she has, there can be no real, lasting healing for us until, through God’s grace, we find it within ourselves to forgive.
And the truth is that not only have others hurt us, but we have also sinned against our neighbor. We have been careless with the feelings of others. We have said hurtful things. We have looked the other way when our brothers or sisters needed our help. Even worse, we have taken advantage of people when they were weak and helpless. We might have many excuses for acting as we did. We might say that we were young and didn’t know any better. We might claim that we were not aware how much harm we were causing. But we did it anyway, and people are hurting because of the choices we made. Each of us would hope that those we hurt would find some way to understand why we acted the way we did and come to forgive us. Do we not then have to show the same understanding and forgiveness to those who have hurt us?
Forgiveness is not only essential for our peace of mind and general well-being, it is also vital for the salvation of our souls. Jesus makes it very clear that if we are unwilling to forgive those who harm us, then our Heavenly Father will be unable to forgive us. We cannot receive God’s mercy if we are not willing to show mercy to others. All our prayers and good works, all our sacrifices and acts of charity will be for nothing if we are harboring grudges and wishing harm on those who have hurt us.
How can we begin to forgive those who have hurt us? It certainly is not easy, but it is possible with God’s grace. The first step is always to pray for God’s help to open our hearts to be able to love. The next step is to pray for the person who has hurt us. We must ask God to bless that person and make him or her prosper. Whenever bitter thoughts against the person invade our minds, we have to ask God’s help to push them aside. As we do that, we will begin to see the person in a new light. We will understand that like us, he or she is a weak human being. With that, forgiveness starts to take root. It does not happen overnight. But with God’s help it is possible.
Forgiveness is not optional. It is not just a good thing to do. It is necessary for our salvation. As we prepare to bring the bread and wine that will be transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ to the altar, let us call to mind those who have hurt us and those we may have hurt. Let us renew our commitment to forgive everyone who has ever harmed us and offer a prayer for those we have harmed. Let us call to mind the love that Jesus show by dying on the cross so that we could be forgiven. And let us allow the healing rays of the God Who is mercy and love to penetrate deep within us so that we can reflect that love even to our enemies.
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