Learning From One Another

Manny’s grandparents were immigrants from Portugal. Because they spoke very little English, it was difficult for him to understand them. He dreaded going to their house because he thought it smelled funny and he didn’t like the way their food tasted. Whenever Manny’s parents would take him there to visit, he would spend the whole time asking his parents, “Can we go now?”. He would rather do anything else than spend the afternoon there.

When Manny started high school, he had to take a foreign language. He assumed that Portuguese would be the easiest one for him to take since he was already somewhat familiar with it and he could always ask his parents for help with his homework.  The next Sunday after his first class, his family visited his grandparents. Manny told his grandfather that he was studying Portuguese and said some of the phrases he had learned. His grandfather helped him with the pronunciation of some of the words he was struggling with and taught him a few more phrases. They laughed together as they helped each other communicate.

Manny saw a different side of his grandfather that afternoon. He had always assumed his grandfather was ignorant because he didn’t speak English. For the first time, he realized that it was the other way around. He was the ignorant one. He was determined to learn Portuguese as quickly as he could so that he could learn more from his grandfather.

During their weekly visits, Manny learned a lot about his family’s history. He learned about his grandfather’s career in Portugal and how he left it all behind to give his children a better life. He enjoyed hearing the stories about the village he grew up in and what life was like back then. Manny would even pray the rosary with him from time to time and would go to Mass in Portuguese at his grandfather’s parish. The time he spent with his grandfather became the best part of his week.

When his grandfather passed away several years later, Manny felt gratitude for the opportunity to get to know him while he was alive. He had a fuller sense of himself and of his family history because of the time he spent with him. Not only did he learn a lot about Portuguese language and culture, but he learned a lot about life and faith. No education could have given him what his grandfather had.

Today we celebrate the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Jesus needed a family to protect and provide for Him during His life on earth. Just so, all of us need a family to bring us into the world, to provide for us, and to teach us how to live fuller and happier lives. Our families can be a source of great joy for us and also a source of great pain. Either way, there is no way to replace what only a father and mother can give to us.

Today’s first reading encourages us to honor our fathers and mothers. Throughout His life, Jesus was obedient to Joseph and Mary. No matter how old we are, we should be respectful and obedient to our parents as well. We might think we know more than they do and they might even drive us a little crazy. Still, they are our parents and the first people to love us. Out of respect for all the sacrifices they’ve made, we should be thankful for them and take care of them.

As we look ahead to a new year, perhaps a good resolution for us would be to spend more time with our parents or other family members. Perhaps there is someone in our family - a grandparent, aunt, or cousin - whom we’ve never had a chance to get to know. The new year might be a good time to change that.

Perhaps there is someone in our family whom we have hurt. This Christmas Season might be a good time to ask for forgiveness and reconcile that relationship. Or there might be family members who have hurt us. It would do us a lot of good to let go of our grudges and forgive them.

Jesus came to earth to bring healing and reconciliation. The best place for that to take place is within our families. If this year is not the best time to ask for forgiveness from a family member or to extend it, we can always begin with prayer. God wants our families to be havens of peace and love for us. He will make a way even when it seems impossible. Perhaps our families seem to be broken beyond repair. God can bring reconciliation and healing into the worst of situations. If we need it, our Heavenly Father will provide it for us. We just need to keep believing, hoping, and praying.

The Church is also a family. Jesus tells us that the bonds of faith are even stronger than the bonds of blood. He says, “My mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God and carry it out” (Luke 8:21). Like any family, the members of the Church can hurt us. Those wounds can run very deep and seem impossible to heal. If we have been wounded by someone in the Church, let us ask God to help us forgive. Let us also pray for those whose relationship with God has been damaged because of the insensitivity and carelessness of our leaders. Jesus wants nothing more than that they be healed and reconciled with the Church He founded to be a mother and a family for all believers.

As a family, we gather in this place today. The Church is our home. Here we learn our family history through the Bible. And here the greatest of all Sunday meals is prepared for us - the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. We are challenged here to make faith the cornerstone of our family life - to look to the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph as an example for our own homes. We cannot change the past but we can create a future of hope and healing for ourselves and our families by choosing love and forgiveness.